Joululahja, joka teki minut ep?ilem?tt? onnelliseksi, oli se, ett? poikapuoleni p??tti viett?? koko p?iv?n kanssani. Riitt??, kun sanon, ett? h?nen ?itins? ei ollut parhaimmillaan. H?nen biologinen is?ns? oli pahempi. Mindyn ja minun suhde heikkeni vuoden j?lkeen, mutta pidin sen Naten puolesta. Miksi? Minusta tuntui, ett? lapsi oli liian lahjakas urheilullisesti ja ?lyllisesti ollakseen toinen esimerkki hukkaan heitetyst? kyvyst?. Olen 110% tosissani, kun sanon, ett? minun piti n?ytell? ?iti? ja is?? 8 vuoden avioliiton aikana h?nen ?itins? kanssa. Jokainen valittu baseball-toiminta. Jokainen vanhempien kokous. Jokainen matka sinne t?nne. Joka ilta auttaa h?nt? kouluteht?viss?. Livahtaa pois t?ist? aikaisin tehd?kseen harjoituksiaan peleiss?. Saada h?net kouluun ja sosiaalisiin tapahtumiin. Kaiken t?m?n lis?ksi minulla oli myyntity?t?, jossa ty?skentelin yli 60 tuntia viikossa.
H?nen ?itins? ja min? erosimme lopulta, mutta Nate ja min? olemme edelleen yhteydess? melkein joka p?iv?. H?n pelaa college baseballia ja on t?ll? hetkell? yliopiston Dean's List -listalla. H?n valmistuu toukokuussa rikosoikeuden tutkinnosta, sivuaineena sosiologia. En voisi olla ylpe?mpi.
Pelk?st??n se tosiasia, ett? h?n p??tti viett?? joulun yksinomaan kanssani, sai minut ymm?rt?m??n, ett? h?n todella arvosti kaikkea, mit? tein h?nen hyv?kseen kasvaessaan. Kaikki uhraukset. Koko ajan. Kaikki rahat. Kaikki vaiva. En tarvinnut lahjaa. H?nen ymm?rryksens? kotitalouden dynamiikasta kasvaessani oli paras lahja, jonka olisin voinut saada. Odotan innolla hyv?? suhdetta h?nen kanssaan useiden vuosien ajan.
The Christmas present that undoubtedly made me the happiest was when my stepson decided to spend the entire day with me. Suffice to say that his mother was not of the best character. His biological father was worse. The relationship between Mindy & I deteriorated after year one, but I stuck it out for Nate. Why? I felt that the kid was too gifted athletically and intellectually to become another example of wasted ability. I am 110% serious when I say that I had to play mother and father for the 8 years of marriage to his mom. Every select baseball activity. Every parent-teacher meeting. Every ride here and there. Every night helping him with schoolwork. Sneaking out of work early to make his practices in games. To get him to school & social events. All of this on top of having a sales job where I worked 60+ hours per week.
His mother and I eventually got divorced, but Nate and I are still in touch almost every day. He plays college baseball and is on the Dean's List in college right now. He graduates in May with a degree in criminal justice, with a minor in sociology. I couldn't be prouder.
Just the fact that he decided to spend Christmas exclusively with me, made me realize that he really did appreciate everything I did for him growing up. All the sacrifices. All the time. All the money. All the effort. I didn't need a gift. His understanding of the dynamic in the household growing up was the best gift I could have received. I look forward to a great relationship with him for many years to come.
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